11 Monologue jokes on Pollution in China, Drones, Viagra, Just me practicing

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I wrote these jokes a few days ago, here’s a compilation of all of them. I hope you enjoy them!

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Conservative in Texas are upset because they feel their votes are being weakened by a new law. In other words, they’re just trying to make sure Donald Trump voters don’t give this man power.

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A woman shot down a drone that was flying in her neighborhood because she thought is was spying. But the police failed to investigate why this woman was afraid of it “spying” what she got cooking in her house?

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A new study shows that the average sex time is 5.4 minutes. That just comes to show that what you see in porno isn’t realistic, sweety!

A man was struck by a train after stealing a teenagers phone. That just comes to show that even trains hate criminals.

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The New York primaries are right around the corner, and Hillary and Sanders are in a tight race. One of the big tilters would be who can say fuggedaboutit with an accent.

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49-year-old Janet Jackson has delayed her tour to start a family. I other words, 49 yr old Janet is running out of time.

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Sweden has become the first country with its phone number. In other words, it’s the first country to suffer from millions of prank callers.

The makers of Botox and Viagra have called off their 160 billion dollar merge. You’d think they were a match made in heaven. One keeps you looking young, and the other keeps your friend down there feeling young. But sometimes things just don’t work out.

The leaked Panama papers shared information on where global VIPs have their money stashed. It makes that shoe box in your closest a lot less insignificant.

Google is looking into green energy sources in Asia; that could mean a breath of relief for Chinese citizens…

A woman wearing a mask walk through a street covered by dense smog in Harbin, northern China, Monday, Oct. 21, 2013. Visibility shrank to less than half a football field and small-particle pollution soared to a record 40 times higher than an international safety standard in one northern Chinese city as the region entered its high-smog season. (AP Photo/Kyodo News) JAPAN OUT, MANDATORY CREDIT
(AP Photo/Kyodo News) JAPAN OUT, MANDATORY CREDIT

Bernie Sanders will be speaking at the Vatican next week. Sanders said his views and the pipes were similar… And so is your age.

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