9 Monologue Jokes!

Here are some Monologue Jokes I wrote, I hope you enjoy them and that you get a a laugh at least from 1.



A man unknowingly bought a house that used to be a meth lab, and was infuriated when he found out; the real estate agent ¬†was quoted saying “I thought you were a breaking bad fan…”

Two bank robbers performed a heist covered head to toe in aluminum foil, when questioned the duo called themselves “The baked potatoes”.


Danny Willet won the golf master cup, in other words “yawns” golf….

A woman recorded herself snowboarding down a hill and later noticed a bear chasing after her; some people are saying the video is fake, in other words, they would have liked to see the beat eat this woman alive. And the footage recovered somehow.

The Bear from VICE

A man from DC broke into a five guys restaurant and cooked himself some burgers, When captured the police discovered it was robot manned by Plankton.


The world tiger population has increased by 200, in other words, how do you count tigers without dying?????!!!!


Burger King employees received calls from the “fire department” who said if they didn’t break the windows the restaurant would blow up… The police have no idea who called, but I have a pretty good guess…


Thieves carved a whole on the top of a bank and stole $280,000. A police officer was replied I don’t know how this went un-noticed, as he texted on his phone.
Bono went in front of the Senate and said instead of throwing bombs at Isis we should send in comedians Chris Rock and Amy Schumer…
That is officially the worst recommendation, EVER.

A new study shows 3% of ppl in a 1500 focus group say fun isn’t important…. Ben Carson was one of them.


Hehe, those made me laugh.



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